Today I went to visit my Mum who lives in a nursing home. She is 81 years old and suffers from Dementia. Dementia it is a word that strikes fear into most people's hearts when they think of their old age. Nursing home,,,more words that most people live in fear and dread of. To my Mum, the thought of going into a nursing home was one that she just would not even think about. She had always said that the only time she would permanently leave her home was in a little wooden box. That was a hope that I had for her too, I wanted her to live out her days in her own home, sadly that wasn't to be the case. She has been in a nursing home for almost 2 years now and every time I go to visit I come away feeling immense sadness. I feel horrible for helping to put her in there, I truly do but at the same time I know that if my brothers and I hadn't gone down that path, she wouldn't be with us at all now. She could no longer live alone and it got to the stage where caring for her on the occasions that she came to stay at my house was very, very difficult for me. She is diabetic and legally blind. Putting her into a different surrounding is hard work as she becomes totally dependent on others for her every need. I know that in the nursing home she is as safe as she can be. I know that she is getting the care she needs, but that doesn't take away the sadness I feel.
She still knows who I am but it is almost impossible to hold a conversation any more. She prattles on about things that have happened in her mind, although naturally she believes they were real events. She talks about "Dad" coming to visit her soon (we still don't know if she is referring to her father or my dad (Dad died almost 24 years ago)). I ramble on to her as best I can telling her all about what the kids are up to and what we have been doing but I now get next to nothing back from her in response. It is hard work trying to hold a one sided conversation. I help to feed her if I am there at meal times. She is becoming less and less the person she once was and it is heartbreaking. I don't normally talk about this on my blog as I feel it is something private and most people don't want to hear about the depressing side of life, but today I feel the need to get it off my chest, share it with someone, anyone.
I have come home this morning and gone out in the glorious sunshine that this beautiful Autumn weather has given us. This is the blue of the sky outside my back door this morning...isn't this sky beautiful!!
This little guy is my fuschia that I rescued from the "sad trolley" at Bunnings one day. I paid $1 for him as he wasn't much more than a stick with a few leaves attached at the time. Now I am no green thumb by any means but I love fuschias and wanted to give it a go to save the little guy. Well, I am amazed myself, but just look at him now!!! I can't wait until all those buds decide to open up and share their beauty with us!!
And now the grand unveiling our my beloved fruit trees which we received last Friday. Last night hubby and I spent a lovely half hour potting them up. They have gone in pots for the moment as we are considering selling our house in the next year or so and moving interstate and there was no way I wanted to leave my trees behind!!!! So for now at least while we come to a firm decision, they are potted up with plenty of room for their young roots to develop.
On the right hand side, on the rather dilapidated looking table are our feijoa trees, our strawberry guava and our Mr and Mrs Kiwifruit. The kiwifruit was another plant I rescued from the "sad trolley". This one was reduced to $10 down from $20. I had always wanted to try to grow kiwifruit so I couldn't walk past and leave him there, I had to attempt to save him. I am proud once again to say he is thriving. He has nice new leaves and is looking very healthy indeed. With all these small successes I have been having of late, I am slowly gaining in confidence with gardening. I no longer consider myself as a "death trap" for poor little unsuspecting plants which I drag into my home. Now I am happy to sit and watch each new leave develop and gaze in wonder at them daily.
And take a look at what I just noticed. I just went outside to see if I could photograph some beautiful rainbow lorikeets which are going nuts in the gum tree shown in the top photo. Sadly I couldn't get a decent shot of them as they are too high up and too far back within the foliage, but look what I found which I hadn't noticed this morning...... (I apologise for the blurriness of this first picture but I am using an old camera cuz I couldn't find any fresh batteries for the new one lol).....flowers on my beloved blueberry bush!!!!
We bought this bush last year and it was half the size it is now. Last year we got a handful of berries off it and they were simply devine. This year there are many little buds forming on it and these flowers have been sitting there, just as little buds for a little while now and finally one has opened up. Oh I am so excited to see this, I can already taste blueberries,,,I cannot wait!!!
I am driving my hubby crazy and my kids too I think when they get home from work and school and I go on about each plant's progress lol. All they hear about is my cooking, my plants or my crafts and things I want to make!!!
But hey, no home is happy unless Mum is happy right????