Thursday, May 31, 2012

Painting/Tiling/Packing Boxes,,,,are we having fun yet????

I feel like life is a whirlwind right now.  Hubby has tiled half the kitchen,,,,,typical isn't it that we had this new kitchen of ours installed 4.5 years ago and now that we are going to move it is finally getting tiled lol!!  He still has one wall left to do and then we can get the grouting done. 

I have painted out the main lounge/Mr11 with Autism's bedroom.  We have decided that when we get the carpet laid in there (we pulled the carpet up late last year due to many "accidents" by said Mr11) that we will change it back into our main lounge and Mr11 can bunk down in the family room like he used to when he became too much of a challenge being in with one of the other kids (think waking before light and refusing to go back to sleep, hence waking up other child in room,,,that kind of thing lol).  Since we pulled the carpet up we have had the bare ugly concrete sitting there adding to the already ugly room.  Well it now looks a little better with a fresh coat of paint and we will leave it as long as we can before we move the rooms around.  We figure we will put the carpet down just before the house goes up for sale.

There have been so many other things I have needed to do this week that the painting has taken a back seat but this weekend will hopefully see me get Mr15's bedroom and hopefully the hallway painted through.  That will leave 2 small bedrooms, our bedroom and the family room and a bathroom left to paint.  The ceilings are just going to get small touch ups here and there as they aren't too bad, I just want to hide a few obvious marks.

I have started packing boxes up....who knew we owned so many books!!!!  I have boxes of books sitting in the family room right now.  We now have to decide what we are going to do with all the boxes I am packing up.  I need the house to look uncluttered and I feel that I am just adding clutter lol.  We may have to pay for a storage facility of some kind to hold these boxes in.  We have already decided on a few pieces of furniture which definitely won't be making the journey and we are hoping to just put them out the front of the house with a big "FREE" label on them and someone will take them,,,,,,our house is amazing for getting rid of things from so that is a bonus!

I have been feeling a little excited as I have packed the boxes but the fact that we have no real idea of where we will be living is a little scary.  We have seen a few houses we have liked but of course since they are interstate and we don't have anyone we can call on to go and look at them for us, it has been a bit hard.  Of course those same houses are always the ones that seem to be getting sold quite quickly, grrrrr.  We are hoping to be able to make a short trip over there next week to have a look at one house in particular we like alot, (hopefully we find a few more we might like to look at before then too) and also to have a sticky beak at the local schools as well.

As far as kids go, well it hasn't been easy.  My eldest boy keeps putting off when he will be coming over.  At first it was as soon as Year 12 finishes, then it became after a trip they have planned for his Duke of Ed Award, then it was when Mr15 finishes school,,,,,now it has shifted to the end of January when his Dad,,,hopefully fingers crossed,,,,comes over.  I am wondering if his Dad doesn't come over, if he will come over at all,,,,,something I am trying not to think about!!

Okay I gotta go pack more boxes!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

August 1 - 69 days to work this crap out

Well finally the boss was back yesterday and finally hubby was able to talk to him.  No ifs, no buts, no maybes, he wants him to start his new job on August 1.  10 weeks yesterday.  10 weeks from now we need to be in Melbourne, well I guess 9 weeks really to allow a week to get a little settled in.

The stress levels are starting to get to me big time now.  I really thought that maybe, just maybe, the boss would extend it a little allowing for the fact that we do have 6 kids to think about but no, that isn't his problem obviously.

This is just so overwhelming right now.  The housing market isn't that great at the moment for selling houses apparently.  I really only want to move once, I really don't want to rent,,,,,and of course finding a rental that takes pets and can fit all our crap into, will be a whole new problem anyway.  The boss has offered to put us up in an apartment for 5 days so that we can come over and explore the areas of Melbourne.  5 days to find a nice primary and secondary school and also then find a house in the area, not too far from said schools, or the other way around, whatever.

This weekend we will be tiling our kitchen, well hubby will attempt to tile (he has never done it before so I can see quite a bit of cursing will be happening.  I will be painting.  Naturally we only have Saturday of this weekend to get stuff done as we need to travel to Port Pirie on Sunday for Mr15's soccer game and this will take approx 2 hours there, 2 hours back and then the 2 hours for the game/warm up/cool down etc,,,,so there goes Sunday.

The reality has really hit me today that I will be leaving not only hubby's kids behind but also my older two boys.  Both of them will stay with their Dad here until the end of the school year.  4 months without them is going to be sooooooo hard.  Then of course there is soccer which Mr15 hasn't realised that will be a large problem which we have to attempt to find a solution to.  Their Dad is a bus driver and works weird and wonderful shifts.  Mr15 has soccer from 6-7.30 on Wednesday and Friday nights and then he has games on Sunday which most of the time (except the Port Pirie game) start at 8.45 and they need to be to the game at 8am on Sunday mornings.  I have no idea at this point how we are going to work this out.  Most of his team is new this year so we don't really know the parents, so it is a big ask to get one of them to play taxi for my child.

I so don't want to do this.  I know they say a change is as good as a holiday and new starts can be good and well, yeah,, okay, it might be, but right now I'm just not really seeing it.  If we were an "average" family and it was a matter of everyone moving together, yeah okay I could deal with that.  But this scenario really sucks.  I truly don't want to leave my boys behind, I know they will be safe with their Dad, but 4-5 months is a long time when you have never gone more than a day or two without seeing them.  Hubby's kids well I just feel horrible, truly horrible about leaving them.  Mr11 with Autism won't understand where his Dad has gone and I feel that Miss13 will really distance herself from her Dad and I really do wonder if she will want to come to us to visit.  I think she will come the first time just to see our new place but after that I'm not so sure.

Hubby keeps going on about that it is the right step for our futures, but I guess I have never been a money orientated person.  Yes we need money to live and I know that without a job, that would be very hard.  But I kinda look at the bigger picture and think well the extra child support we will be paying and the cost of transporting kids back and forth between the 2 states will eat up the extra he may get anyway.  For me, keeping the family together is more important than all the money in the world, but for the short term at least and in the case of hubby's kids, long term too, that won't happen.  I know that hubby has tried so hard to find a decent job here and he hasn't managed it.  I know that opportunities like this one don't happen every day and he would be silly not to at least try, but geez it feels to me like it is going to come at a pretty big cost emotionally.

I need to go and pack some more boxes,,,,where I put these boxes I don't know but I will pack the limited boxes I have at the moment. 

This really, truly sucks as my 15 year old would say!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Moving slowly in a direction that leads who knows where......

Well we have another 2 days until Hubby can actually talk to his boss about this whole situation we have been placed in.  I am at the point of feeling like I just want to move forward.  I am still really worried about the whole thing but I don't see another way out so we will move forward and I will look at it like its a new start for our lives.  Exciting in a way at least I guess.

The kids are coping okay I think, for now at least.  I know reality will be different but for now things are okay.  I feel absolutely horrible for tearing their lives, as they know it, apart, but I also know that they will survive it too.

My ex, the boy's dad, is stressing now as well.  I had tears last week from Mr11 when his dad mentioned to him that he may not be able to move for a long time.  After speaking to him he said that he doesn't really want to move but is feeling pressured to do so.  He has recently taken out a car loan and he has a secure job, he said why would I want to move.......this is also a guy who a few months ago said to me "if you guys get offered a better job in Melbourne take it and I will follow you, I would love to move to Melbourne",,,,this is also the same guy who 18 months ago was wanting to move to Melbourne and informed me that he would most likely be moving there at the beginning of 2013,,,,not reality is here and we need to move, he doesn't want to go.  I understand, I really do.  Job security is important.  All his family are here.  But making me feel worse than I already do sucks big time.  I told him that we will help him to find a rental property.  I will do the leg work for him over there, we will even look into jobs in his industry for him.  On this note I am being selfish in that I need him to be over there because otherwise there are 4 more kids that we need to work out a way to see their other parent in a different state.  I am already concerned about the money aspect of getting two kids back and forth, another 4 on top of that may well be impossible!

Hubby's kids, well his daughter at least, informed us in front of her mother (mum made sure of this!) that she doesn't want to move because she doesn't want to leave her friends.  I knew this would happen but after earlier conversations with the mother last week, I know that she had thought about moving with us.  Her mother earlier last week informed us that she was moving to Perth next year and taking the kids with her.  Now she has all of a sudden back tracked saying "an opportunity has come up here and she can't move anyway because Miss13 doesn't want to".....hmm more like she saw that Miss13 may have chosen to come with us and there is no way on earth that she would let that happen lol.  Miss13, I can see is a little upset.  On the weekend we were listing a few bits and pieces on Ebay, stuff that is too big to move with us and which we had just been too slack to get rid of before now.  She asked what we were doing and we said, we don't use it and it is too big to move and we are going to end up with a much smaller house so it has to go.  I saw in her eyes that this upset her.  I felt bad but it isn't like she wasn't given the choice to come with us.  I know it is an impossible situation for her too though, her mother uses mind games to the max, always has and I know the guilt trip would come on pretty strong if Miss13 chose us.  I said to her that at least she has a choice, my boys, younger two in particular have none, they have to move.  Their dad can't cater for them with the job he has, his hours are too erratic.

So in the meantime, while we wait for more definite plans, we sit here looking at real estate in Victoria.  We know that we will have to downsize our house.  That sucks in some ways but I am also thinking of less housework with a smaller house lol.  The boys will have to share a room but I don't see that as being so bad.  It will be how most of us grew up, having to share with siblings.  They aren't overly impressed but we told them for a few years until we get properly established there, that this will be needed.  Fitting hubby's kids in will be the problem but as it is only for a week at a time, for about 5 weeks a year, we will work something out.  I have seen a few places I would love to be able to put an offer on but we have so much work that we need to do to this house before we can place it up for sale that it is a futile exercise.

Its funny how life can change in the blink of an eye.  A couple of weeks ago I had all these blog ideas of things I was going to share.  I had heaps of recipes to add to my other cooking blog.  Now all I add is complaints and worries lol.  I do promise that his is just a short term thing and I guess I will have many more interesting things to share as we make our move and we settle ourselves in as Victorians.

You know it is funny, Victorians and South Australians have long been rivals of sorts.  Whether it be football or the Grand Prix etc, there has always been a love hate relationship between us.  I know that mentioning to anyone over there that we are from SA runs the risk of receiving a glare.  Saying that we are Adelaide Crows supporters even worse lol.  My oldest son has already said that when we move he will be going for Hawthorn.  He said deep down he loves his Crows but when in Victoria he will go for Hawthorn and that will be what he tells people, lol bless his heart!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

And so the culling begins!

Well I have to start somewhere, I need to feel in control of something right now so I have started in the carport,,,,,our main storage/dumping ground for stuff we have nowhere else to put, and stuff that I think about selling on Ebay etc.

So far I have gone through Hubby's sister's boxes of stuff (why we have these still here I don't know lol but that is a whole different story!), I have condensed her stuff from 2 boxes down to 1 plus a photo album.  Then I had 2 boxes of my dear Mum's ornaments that have sat in the carport for 3 years since she moved into the nursing home.  These were hard to deal with but I have culled them and only kept the pieces that I know where precious to her and the ones that I would like to use in our new house if we have the space.  The cheaper little knick knack type of ones are going to the op shop.  I just can't hang on to everything.

It will be very hard leaving my mum.  Even though she is so lost in her own dementia  world these days, she still does remember me and always has a smile when I go to see her.  These days you can't hold a conversation with her as she just talks about stuff that makes no sense but to see the occasional smile on her face reassures me that she is at least happy in a way.  Leaving with the knowledge that it may be the last time I see her will hurt big time, it hurts enough leaving her there each time I visit, but knowing that I'm not just a short drive away will be a major deal for me :(   It feels like we are all deserting her.  One of my other brothers moved to country Victoria last year, now me this year.  It will leave one brother here to handle things while the rest of us are flung all throughout the eastern states of Australia.

Just another joy of life I suppose.

OK back to the boxes,,,,,,,,,why did we ever keep so much crap??????????? lol

Monday, May 14, 2012

It went better than I expected...for now

Well last Wednesday night saw us tell my 4 boys.  I honestly felt sick in the stomach, I just didn't know how to tell them.  Hubby stepped up to the plate and dealt the initial blow.  The look of shock on faces wasn't great, but after that initial shock, Mr10 was actually doing a happy dance.  I knew he didn't quite understand the implications so I had to gently say that it meant he would have to move schools and not see his friends any more......then the tears started.

So the overall results from this conversation were:

Mr17 - handled it as I thought he would.  He just kept saying "its okay mum".  He will be staying here until Year 12 finishes so for him it isn't an immediate kind of thing, he will move in with his Dad.

Mr15 - also will stay for as long as he is able.  He has dealt with it ok, he admits he doesn't want to go but understands that we need to.

I love the way these two boys are dealing with it, so grown up and not at all the way I would have dealt with it when I was a teenager with a close network of friends.

Mr11 has been pretty quiet.  I haven't yet told him that he will be starting high school next year.  Here in South Australia, high school starts in Year 8,,,in Victoria it is Year 7.  That for him, is next year.  He struggles at school and I must admit I am very worried how he will cope.  He is on a negotiated education plan, which basically just means that he has difficulties in learning and they try to (supposedly) do things a little differently with him.  I think when it comes time, I will have major problems with this one as he tends to bottle up anger and then we have a major explosion, we shall see.

Mr10, after the tears had subsided, is now actually quite eager.  He knows he will be starting a new school but he is also excited about all the new things there will be to see and do in Melbourne.  I know though, that starting a new school for him isn't going to be pretty.  It has taken until now, in Year 4 for him to properly settle into school, so restarting, knowing no one is going to be very hard on him too.

Friday, we went to tell Miss13.  We met up with her after school and she was accompanied by her mum.  This proved to be rather interesting and has caused me major stress ever since.  She was very quiet when we told her and basically just stood there saying nothing.  We will talk to her properly about it when she comes here on Friday. 

But in the course of the conversation we learnt that her mother is planning on taking the kids to WA. She wants to go and work in the mines with her, now fiance.  This has me concerned, very concerned.  I have been crunching numbers of thte impact financially of the increased cost of child support for hubby to pay (quarter of his salary!) and also trying to work out the costs involved with flying the kids back and forth in school holidays to and from Adelaide.  (Just Hubby's two kids alone is going to be a struggle to do financially (especially since Mr11 with Autism cannot travel alone, he needs a carer with him)), but doing this from Western Australia (possibly Kalgoorlie) to Victoria is just horrific and would cripple us.  We wouldn't be able to afford it at all!

Obviously since we are moving ourselves, its not like we can jump up and down about her going there, but I am really concerned that this will totally cut hubby off from his kids.  I don't want to split our family up.

So here we are, treading water, not really knowing what the heck is going on.  Hubby can't talk to his boss until May 23 so we are in limbo land right now.  I know that we will have to go, but we don't know when exactly.  So right now I am starting to go through our stuff and just culling as much as I can.  I could be painting the house but right now I feel that culling is a better place to start.

We have been concentrating our research on Pakenham and Cranbourne areas for schooling and real estate.  I like Pakenham because it is just that little bit away from the rat race but I am wondering if it is too far out when it comes to jobs for the kids, I don't want to disadvantage them at all.  If money was no object we'd be fine lol, but since the difference in the Adelaide to Melbourne house markets are so steep we have to be realistic.

Ok, off to sort through stuff,,,,,,,,

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Today we tell my boys...

Well after many sleepless nights, I have realised that we are most likely going to have to move.  If we stay here hubby's job prospects are pretty slim to say the least.  Victoria, as much as I hate it, does offer more in the way of jobs, not only for hubby but probably also for my boys too.

Finding a house in our price range is going to be a problem and I can see we will need a much larger mortgage than we currently have, either that or we will end up with a house both smaller and not necessarily as nice as we have now (not that this house is a show home by any means but you know what I mean lol).  We are going to have to just make the best of it.

The whole scenario scares the pants off me.  I guess I have led a pretty secluded life really.  Moving house is something I have only done 4 times in my life and not something I enjoy doing.  Its funny in a way that every time I start pulling a house apart and redecorating, is the time we need to sell.  Right now this house has no floor coverings in our front lounge room,   the front half the house has no curtains as they all needed replacing, the toilet door is mismatched from the rest and doesn't close properly as hubby can't seem to get it to fit right into the door frame (yes the door frame is warped as we have discovered!), we have a kitchen with no tiles on the walls and it is just a sea of patchwork plaster, and then of course we have 1/4 of the house freshly painted while the rest needs doing,,,,,,,don't even mention the garden!!!!  The same thing happened last time I moved which was when my ex and I found this house and fell in love with it.  I had just started painting the old house and had pulled down curtains etc.

Tonight we are going to tell my kids.  By "we" I mean hubby.  I already know that I will get too emotional and this just won't get us anywhere.  Hubby will do the talking and I just hope I don't have 4 explosions happen.  I know my Mr17 will just stay quiet and I think Mr15 will be likely to just walk away and say nothing,,,,they younger two, well they are likely to give Mount Vesuvius a run for its money I believe!  After that, Hubby needs to arrange to meet up with Miss13 to tell her and I'm not sure how she will take it, I have no clue on that one.

The positive aspects I am going to be talking to the kids about is the "we have a whole new city/state to explore".  We have snow country within our reach, Phillip Island penguins, a zoo that has elephants and gorillas, the aquarium, Ballarat isn't that far away,,,,,the list goes on.  I know that from a weekend perspective there will be so much we can do, if we can manage to save a bit of money (big IF on that one I think but anyway,,,,)

I am trying to look at the positives today.  Trying not to think about having no friends or family near me.  Thinking of all the crap in the house we can get rid of before we move lol, it could be the fresh, less cluttered life I have been striving for.

I think I can, I think I can.......

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Round and Round We Go.....

This past few days haven't been good.  Hubby and I have had many, shall we say "heated discussions" about this move.  He wants to go and as far as he is concerned there is no other option because of the fact that he has been looking for a job here for the past 6 months with no results.

Me on the other hand, I really, I mean really, don't want to uproot my family.  I refuse to leave anyone behind, they are our children and I just can't do it.  But having said that Hubby's kids would be staying with their mother,,,,,why you may ask, why is that so clear already?  Well Hubby called his ex and told her about this and straight away there was no negotiations, she is having the kids and we can fly them back and forth during school holidays.  Miss13 hasn't been told yet, but since she is a Mum's girl I know she won't want to come with us.  Mr11 with Autism will be staying too apparently.  This came as a surprise until I truly thought about it and basically it is money orientated.  Child support for these 2 kids will be 1 weeks worth of hubby's pay every month going to his ex!  On top of this is the cost of getting them back and forth to Melbourne 4 times a year!

When I factor in a bigger mortgage and increased schooling costs for my boys over there, I just honestly don't see how we can afford to make the move.  Hubby says we can't afford not to.

We were supposed to tell my boys last night but I just couldn't do it.  Mr17 went on a "date" with this girl he likes and then he ended up having dinner at her house with her mum and grandma.  He is also doing his Duke of Edinburgh Award.  He is going for the Gold Award which has a pretty fancy ceremony at the end (this wouldn't be till mid next year) at Government House.  This is a South Australian thing, so us moving would mean all his work he has done towards it would have been wasted.  Also they are planning a trip to NZ at the end of the year which he is excited about :(

Mr15, well like I said last week, I already know he won't want to go.
Mr11, he has alot of trouble making friends, finally he has a good group of kids and a girl he likes (so cute :)  )
Mr10 is really bad when it comes to new situations and also as he is a little chubby, he often gets teased for being "fat",,,,,,,I know that if one kid teases him at a new school I will struggle to get him back there.

Sorry for sounding repetitive the last few days, that is the state of my head at the moment.  Everything goes around 50 million times a day.

I know we are not the only family that has had to move.  I know that there are worse things that could happen and I am extremely grateful that everyone is pretty healthy and the worst problems we have are our financial state and job status, but right now this is huge for me, for us and I just don't see an easy fix for it.

If we stay, hubby doesn't have a job.  Hubby will have to take whatever job he can get as there is nothing in his line of work around.  We will both end up having to work to try to make ends meet and I'm not sure if they will meet even then with the local job market right now. I am willing to do cleaning or check out chick work but at the end of the day, Hubby wants the job that he has been offered.  He sees the possibility of improving our lives as over time this job "could" turn in to something much bigger,,,,,,it is the quotes around the "could" that scare me.  I don't trust his boss and worry that after making this move and uprooting everyone, that his boss will just do the same thing 12 months down the track.

If we move, we are up for major increases in our expenses, especially relating to the child support side of things and honestly I don't know how we can stretch the budget any more than it already is.

I did mention it to my ex and he wasn't really phased by it.   He has been thinking about moving to Melbourne himself (he had been waiting till the kids were a bit older).  He wants to get a job working on the trams over there (currently he is a bus driver here which he loves) so he says to just do it and hopefully he could follow in a few months.

I have rambled again I'm sorry!!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Thank you for the support everyone :)

I just wanted to pop in today and say a big thank you for the support and best wishes given to me over the last few days.  Blog land is an awesome place and it is always nice that we are always there for each other to lend support when needed,,,,,,believe it or not that still amazes me how this happens lol.

My head is spinning and I just feel like I have no clue what to do with myself right now.  Hubby wants to make the move as he has been applying for jobs for the last few months and nothing has eventuated.  He is still applying now but his opinion on this whole thing is that if he doesn't get offered a job in the next couple of weeks before he needs to make his mind up on this Melbourne thing, then he needs to take the job offer in Melbourne.  I see his reasoning, he doesn't want it to come to the point where we lose the house because he can't find work.  I could get a job but, having been out of the workforce for the past 13 years, it certainly wouldn't be high enough wages to keep us afloat.

I want to tell the kids as I am usually pretty open and honest about things with them but Hubby wants to hold off until we have made our decision,,,,,I feel that it is their lives that are going to be most affected by this and they should be able to voice an opinion too.

The thought of moving my youngest two to a new environment just does my head in.  Neither of them make friends easily and I feel that now they are finally settled in school, we may have to rip them out and force them to start over,,,,,,that thought alone brings tears to my eyes. 

My older two boys, I already know won't want to go, particularly Mr15.  Naturally even the fact that he can still talk to his mates on Xbox Live won't help the fact either I don't think,,,it won't be enough.  My Mr17 is laid back and easy going and I know he would say yes no matter how much heartbreak it would involve but realistically I couldn't move him before the end of the year so he could at least finish his Year 12 studies, therefore he would have to stay behind with his Dad for at least a few months.......another thought that makes me cry :(

Then we get to Hubby's kids, crap I don't even know where to start on that one.  There is no solution.  Knowing what Hubby's ex is like regarding Miss13 it is going to be very hard.  As far as Mr11 with Autism goes that may be even harder.  He goes to a special school,,,,I haven't even looked into special schools in Melbourne yet.  I have a feeling that if we decide to go we will be given the ultimatum of we either take him or else.

I probably should be painting today.  Regardless of whether we go or not, the house needs a paint and if we do go, well it needs to be done quick smart!  But I don't have it in me right now.  If we do go, I know that I don't want to move twice.  Even though the Boss has offered to pay our rent for 6 months, I am adamant that I will not make the kids move schools a second time.  We would need to find an area and find a house in that area which fits our needs.  If we did rent we would have to buy in the same area.  Hubby tells me I am being unreasonable but I know my kids and he isn't the one that has to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of new schools.  Am I being unreasonable on that one?????

I might spend my day today researching schools and houses and see what comes up.  Hubby knows how against this I am and he knows that of all the states in Australia, Victoria, well suburban Victoria at least is the last choice on my list equal with suburban Sydney.  I said I would have been happy to move to Queensland or Perth or even Tassie, but if I was to move to Vic or NSW, then it would have to be country areas.  Sadly with the hours that he will be working it realistically needs to be within about half hour or so drive from Dandenong and fit our budget which isn't that large aaaghhhh.

Sorry for rambling yet again,,,,,,3 days in a row of rambles lol that is so bad!!

Have a lovely weekend everyone, I hope to come back a little more clear headed on Monday!!!

Here's a song for the weekend,,,my Mr10's favourite at the moment.  Enjoy!!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Always trust Women's Intuition!!!!!!!

Well, he came, he spoke, he left us floundering.......
Yep seems I was 100% right with what I said.  The "boss" (believe me that is not the word I have used about him over the last few hours!!) has decided that after throwing Hubby a lifeline back in December, that he has now withdrawn it, even though Hubby has worked his butt off over the last 5 months and this branch is now beginning to grow each month.  He wants to close the branch on June 30.  He then wants hubby to start work in Melbourne on August 1.

I just don't know what to do right now.  I know that Hubby would like to take the job.  He has been applying for jobs here since December and has had no success.  Since he moved to Australia from NZ back in 2001 he has only really been in the one industry and sadly that industry is hard to find jobs in his area of work.  He is worried that if he doesn't take the offer, we will be left with no income at all.

If we decide to go to Melbourne though, that gives us just 3 months to get this house ready for sale (think a total repaint, inside and out), get the kitchen tiling done (of course we have finally decided on tiles we like and bought them just last week!), get new flooring in the front room which currently is bare concrete and get the gardens looking a heck of a lot nicer than they do right now and of course a total declutter of every room in the house.

Then of course we come to the kids.  My 4 boys would be forced to leave their Dad behind, that I know will break hearts.  Mr17 is doing year 12, he has his graduation coming up in July, he has exams later in the year and he currently has a "love interest" and some great friends that he won't want to leave either.

Mr15, well he just will not want to move.  He loves his school, his friends, his soccer.

Mr11 has finally settled in to school after taking 6 whole years to do it.  This is the first year where I haven't had to fight him to go to school.  He has finally settled in and made friends, he has just started playing soccer this year and he loves his karate class.

Mr10 has a really close friend and enjoys school too now.  He doesn't make changes very well and I know that if he was forced to move schools it would be many mornings of tears and throwing up (yes that is how much he cries!)

As for Hubby's kids......well Miss13 is a Mummy's girl through and through and I very much doubt that she would come with us (even if she wanted to I don't think her mother would allow it!).

Mr11 with Autism,,,,,well what can I say,,,,,I know that I can't look after him full time (and hubby's new job would mean more hours so the care would fall more on my shoulders).  If he stays here though (and I doubt very much his mother would allow that), we can't just stick him on a plane with his sister to come and visit in school holidays, he needs a carer to travel with, so that would mean hubby flying/driving over here picking them up and coming back,,,,,,,and this new job is the same money as we are on now, so there is no pay rise involved so there definitely will not be the money available to send kids back and forth every few months and naturally that would also mean an increase in the child support we already pay.

On top of all that is the fact that we don't know anyone in Melbourne, not a soul (well hubby knows the guys he works with but at the end of the day he has only met them a couple of times they aren't "friends" as such). 

The boss has offered to pay our moving costs and then 6 months rent to a max of $2000 a month.  Obviously I wouldn't want to go backwards but on looking at rental prices in Melbourne for an equivalent house size to ours, we just aren't going to be able to do it (not to mention we have 2 dogs and 3 cats and 3 rats that would need to live with us too!)  House prices are too high in the area where we would need to buy for us to buy another house of equal size to ours.  Most people move houses to better their lives, not take a step backwards.

I am rambling on now so I am going to shut my mouth for the day and go and contemplate my navel or something equally mind numbing.

My new mantra for the day:  The sun is out, its a beautiful day!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Today the Boss is here.....

Today my hubby's Big Boss is in town.  He was sent an email last Friday telling him to pick him up at the airport at 11am this morning for a meeting.  No other info was in the email.  This made me worry.  Then I worried more when we found out that no one else knows about this trip the Big Boss had planned!

After the Big Boss wanting to close this branch down late last year and the axing of Hubby's storeman and Hubby having to take a significant pay cut in order to keep his job, I am more than a little nervous about what today may hold. 

During the last 5 months hubby has doubled the monthly takings of the branch.  Yes it is still not making huge profits or anything but it is growing and the future looks quite bright, but I can't get rid of this sinking feeling I have.  I know what the Big Boss wanted from this branch and I know that it hasn't got there yet.  I know the Big Boss has a doom and gloom type of outlook on what the future holds for business here in Australia.  At the same time I know that the Big Boss doesn't want to lose hubby from the company, he has said that over the last few months too.

But,,,,,,,I have a feeling he is going to ask hubby to take a job in Melbourne, I so hope I am wrong!  The feeling has been with me for 3 days now, due to a few things that hubby has heard from others within the company and the opening of a new job in July in the Melbourne office.  I can't get the feeling out of my mind that the conversation will go something like this........"I don't want to lose you from the company but I will be closing the Adelaide branch.  I would like you to move to Melbourne and take this new position".............Aaaaghhhh

I truly don't want to move to Melbourne.  I don't mind country Victoria but I really, really don't like Melbourne.  I like to visit but I just don't feel that I could live there.  Its just too busy and driving in Melbourne really stresses me out,,,,(I refuse to drive on the occasions we have been there lol).  I'd be happy living in the country area but of course head office is in Dandenong, add to that the prices of houses around that area are out of our league too!  But most importantly we have the kids to think about.  My kids have their Dad living just 5 minutes from us, I can't take them away from him!  My stepkids live mostly with their Mum, that would mean we would rarely see them and Mr11 with Autism  isn't able to just be put onto a flight, he would need a carer with him,,,,,it just wouldn't work!

I am probably stressing over nothing and it will be all okay at the end of the day, but so often before my "feelings" have been spot on when it has come to Hubby's jobs.  I know we have talked about making a fresh start but moving interstate wasn't really high on the list of possibilities, it was a dream, not a reality type of thing.  Being a blended family means we have to think of other people, we can't just pack up and move far away without discussion. 

Okay I am going to go and bury myself in some mind numbing housework and try not to think about it.......