Monday, May 21, 2012

Moving slowly in a direction that leads who knows where......

Well we have another 2 days until Hubby can actually talk to his boss about this whole situation we have been placed in.  I am at the point of feeling like I just want to move forward.  I am still really worried about the whole thing but I don't see another way out so we will move forward and I will look at it like its a new start for our lives.  Exciting in a way at least I guess.

The kids are coping okay I think, for now at least.  I know reality will be different but for now things are okay.  I feel absolutely horrible for tearing their lives, as they know it, apart, but I also know that they will survive it too.

My ex, the boy's dad, is stressing now as well.  I had tears last week from Mr11 when his dad mentioned to him that he may not be able to move for a long time.  After speaking to him he said that he doesn't really want to move but is feeling pressured to do so.  He has recently taken out a car loan and he has a secure job, he said why would I want to move.......this is also a guy who a few months ago said to me "if you guys get offered a better job in Melbourne take it and I will follow you, I would love to move to Melbourne",,,,this is also the same guy who 18 months ago was wanting to move to Melbourne and informed me that he would most likely be moving there at the beginning of 2013,,,,not reality is here and we need to move, he doesn't want to go.  I understand, I really do.  Job security is important.  All his family are here.  But making me feel worse than I already do sucks big time.  I told him that we will help him to find a rental property.  I will do the leg work for him over there, we will even look into jobs in his industry for him.  On this note I am being selfish in that I need him to be over there because otherwise there are 4 more kids that we need to work out a way to see their other parent in a different state.  I am already concerned about the money aspect of getting two kids back and forth, another 4 on top of that may well be impossible!

Hubby's kids, well his daughter at least, informed us in front of her mother (mum made sure of this!) that she doesn't want to move because she doesn't want to leave her friends.  I knew this would happen but after earlier conversations with the mother last week, I know that she had thought about moving with us.  Her mother earlier last week informed us that she was moving to Perth next year and taking the kids with her.  Now she has all of a sudden back tracked saying "an opportunity has come up here and she can't move anyway because Miss13 doesn't want to".....hmm more like she saw that Miss13 may have chosen to come with us and there is no way on earth that she would let that happen lol.  Miss13, I can see is a little upset.  On the weekend we were listing a few bits and pieces on Ebay, stuff that is too big to move with us and which we had just been too slack to get rid of before now.  She asked what we were doing and we said, we don't use it and it is too big to move and we are going to end up with a much smaller house so it has to go.  I saw in her eyes that this upset her.  I felt bad but it isn't like she wasn't given the choice to come with us.  I know it is an impossible situation for her too though, her mother uses mind games to the max, always has and I know the guilt trip would come on pretty strong if Miss13 chose us.  I said to her that at least she has a choice, my boys, younger two in particular have none, they have to move.  Their dad can't cater for them with the job he has, his hours are too erratic.

So in the meantime, while we wait for more definite plans, we sit here looking at real estate in Victoria.  We know that we will have to downsize our house.  That sucks in some ways but I am also thinking of less housework with a smaller house lol.  The boys will have to share a room but I don't see that as being so bad.  It will be how most of us grew up, having to share with siblings.  They aren't overly impressed but we told them for a few years until we get properly established there, that this will be needed.  Fitting hubby's kids in will be the problem but as it is only for a week at a time, for about 5 weeks a year, we will work something out.  I have seen a few places I would love to be able to put an offer on but we have so much work that we need to do to this house before we can place it up for sale that it is a futile exercise.

Its funny how life can change in the blink of an eye.  A couple of weeks ago I had all these blog ideas of things I was going to share.  I had heaps of recipes to add to my other cooking blog.  Now all I add is complaints and worries lol.  I do promise that his is just a short term thing and I guess I will have many more interesting things to share as we make our move and we settle ourselves in as Victorians.

You know it is funny, Victorians and South Australians have long been rivals of sorts.  Whether it be football or the Grand Prix etc, there has always been a love hate relationship between us.  I know that mentioning to anyone over there that we are from SA runs the risk of receiving a glare.  Saying that we are Adelaide Crows supporters even worse lol.  My oldest son has already said that when we move he will be going for Hawthorn.  He said deep down he loves his Crows but when in Victoria he will go for Hawthorn and that will be what he tells people, lol bless his heart!


1 comment:

Joolzmac said...

Somehow in your previous post, I missed the bit about your Mum, when I commented.
I'm sorry you'll be leaving her behind but she must be happy where she is. Dementia is a very sad thing. At least one brother is still there if she needs.

Joolz