Thursday, May 24, 2012

August 1 - 69 days to work this crap out

Well finally the boss was back yesterday and finally hubby was able to talk to him.  No ifs, no buts, no maybes, he wants him to start his new job on August 1.  10 weeks yesterday.  10 weeks from now we need to be in Melbourne, well I guess 9 weeks really to allow a week to get a little settled in.

The stress levels are starting to get to me big time now.  I really thought that maybe, just maybe, the boss would extend it a little allowing for the fact that we do have 6 kids to think about but no, that isn't his problem obviously.

This is just so overwhelming right now.  The housing market isn't that great at the moment for selling houses apparently.  I really only want to move once, I really don't want to rent,,,,,and of course finding a rental that takes pets and can fit all our crap into, will be a whole new problem anyway.  The boss has offered to put us up in an apartment for 5 days so that we can come over and explore the areas of Melbourne.  5 days to find a nice primary and secondary school and also then find a house in the area, not too far from said schools, or the other way around, whatever.

This weekend we will be tiling our kitchen, well hubby will attempt to tile (he has never done it before so I can see quite a bit of cursing will be happening.  I will be painting.  Naturally we only have Saturday of this weekend to get stuff done as we need to travel to Port Pirie on Sunday for Mr15's soccer game and this will take approx 2 hours there, 2 hours back and then the 2 hours for the game/warm up/cool down etc,,,,so there goes Sunday.

The reality has really hit me today that I will be leaving not only hubby's kids behind but also my older two boys.  Both of them will stay with their Dad here until the end of the school year.  4 months without them is going to be sooooooo hard.  Then of course there is soccer which Mr15 hasn't realised that will be a large problem which we have to attempt to find a solution to.  Their Dad is a bus driver and works weird and wonderful shifts.  Mr15 has soccer from 6-7.30 on Wednesday and Friday nights and then he has games on Sunday which most of the time (except the Port Pirie game) start at 8.45 and they need to be to the game at 8am on Sunday mornings.  I have no idea at this point how we are going to work this out.  Most of his team is new this year so we don't really know the parents, so it is a big ask to get one of them to play taxi for my child.

I so don't want to do this.  I know they say a change is as good as a holiday and new starts can be good and well, yeah,, okay, it might be, but right now I'm just not really seeing it.  If we were an "average" family and it was a matter of everyone moving together, yeah okay I could deal with that.  But this scenario really sucks.  I truly don't want to leave my boys behind, I know they will be safe with their Dad, but 4-5 months is a long time when you have never gone more than a day or two without seeing them.  Hubby's kids well I just feel horrible, truly horrible about leaving them.  Mr11 with Autism won't understand where his Dad has gone and I feel that Miss13 will really distance herself from her Dad and I really do wonder if she will want to come to us to visit.  I think she will come the first time just to see our new place but after that I'm not so sure.

Hubby keeps going on about that it is the right step for our futures, but I guess I have never been a money orientated person.  Yes we need money to live and I know that without a job, that would be very hard.  But I kinda look at the bigger picture and think well the extra child support we will be paying and the cost of transporting kids back and forth between the 2 states will eat up the extra he may get anyway.  For me, keeping the family together is more important than all the money in the world, but for the short term at least and in the case of hubby's kids, long term too, that won't happen.  I know that hubby has tried so hard to find a decent job here and he hasn't managed it.  I know that opportunities like this one don't happen every day and he would be silly not to at least try, but geez it feels to me like it is going to come at a pretty big cost emotionally.

I need to go and pack some more boxes,,,,where I put these boxes I don't know but I will pack the limited boxes I have at the moment. 

This really, truly sucks as my 15 year old would say!!


Niki said...

Ok your in the vortex of making it all happen. It is overwhelming, scary & sad too, as you need to leave kids behind for awhile.
Could you maybe rent your home out, and say to yourself you'll give it a year to see how you all feel, and rent over there. Would/could the job entail some rent assistance, you could ask the big boss. Keep an eye out for really cheap flights, like the $99 dollar ones & keep seeing the kids as much as you can. It will all work out. It really will. Melbourne is a fantastic place & think of the cultural element for the kids. The opportunities are great for the older kids too. Still I know it is hard. My husband would move tomorrow if he could. Hey maybe I can come visit one time. I am often to & fro from Melbourne to see the kid sister & family. Keep going love, and remember the kids will feel every nagging doubt you have. So positive all the way. Love to you x x x x

Becky said...

Reality is the kids will handle it a lot better than you and it really won't be long until they are heading out on their own to explore their own future's whether at a University or just on their own. They do grow up and not need us as much as they did when they were very little. Hang in there... you'll make it!