Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Just another day......

I am really starting to feel like life would have been so much less complicated back in our grandparents days. I feel in so many ways that computers, playstations, wiis etc etc have just made life for parents so much harder.

Also all the legal rigmarole you have to go through to do things these days. Take my mum for example, as she is legally blind I have been signatory on her bank account for the past 5-8 years but now that she has gone into a nursing home I have to jump through hoops to be able to do her banking for her. She hadn't nominated a power of attorney and because of this I am going through hell trying to get the paperwork done so that I can continue to do this. Why should it be so hard. An elderly person begins to forget things and so that means that anything they have said in the past is null and void. I know that there are probably many daughters/sons that have squandered away their parents money when this happens but it makes life so darn hard for those of us that just want to do the best for their parents. Then of course you have the actual parent who makes you feel so guilty that you have had the nerve to put them in a "prison" as my mum called it. She has been in there 5 short days and she has already decided that she doesn't like it much, the nurses are lovely the food is nice but "there is just something about it I don't like"....sheesh. She won't leave her room that is the whole problem in my eyes. She won't give it a try. She is happy on her own as she says but then she complains because she just sits there bored all day. I have no idea what to do to try and get her to mingle. Looks like I will need to talk to the diversional therapist up there and see if she can come up with some ideas.

As for my kids,,,,major blow up yesterday afternoon. I admit I lost it totally and I feel so bad today. The stress of them and everything with my mum has gotten to me I think and unfortunately the kids pushed my buttons so they bore the brunt of my ranting and raving. Mr8 in particular was in the firing line. I need to work out something to do with this child but I am at a loss as to what. On a brighter note Mr7 has finally settled in a bit better and I haven't had tears in the mornings for 8 consecutive days of school....fingers crossed this continues!!!!

Thought I would share one of my more recent scrapping sessions......don't get time to do diddly squat these days but here is one I did of Hubby back when he was a little school kid lol.......what a shame I haven't gotten around to doing any of mine yet lol.....lucky he doesn't read my blog or he would kill me!!! (He is the one on the far left in the striped beige jumper)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What is a blog for????

My mind has been everywhere since returning from our holiday. We have had to put my mum into a nursing home and I am feeling very stressed out about this. I never imagined that this would be so hard. I feel guilty, cruel and relieved all at once. I know that she can't stay in her own home as she just can't look after herself any more but at the same time I know her views on a nursing home and I feel that we have just made her miserable.

She has borderline dementia and one day she realises that she needs to be cared for and the next she is talking about going home. We only moved her into the nursing home last Friday, but she seems to believe it is only a short term thing and she will be going home soon. I just can't seem to find a way to explain to her that this is it, this is now home.

My brothers and I have to rent her unit out as naturally she needs some sort of income as her pension gets eaten away by the nursing home fees. We are packing her unit up bit by bit and we are going to store her sentimental items (ornaments etc). I want to take her shopping as two of my sons have birthdays next month and she wants to buy them a present but I am too scared (read chicken!) to take her shopping in case she asks me to take her to her house. I am scared that if I do she will refuse to leave but I am even more scared that if she was to walk in there now and find her house getting packed up, she would get very upset and angry. I feel so torn as to what to do and I seriously do not know what is the "right" thing to do.

I also then have Mr8 crying his heart out every day when I take him to school due to a couple of class bullies. Even though his day goes okay and he is happy at the end, I still have trouble getting him there. The teachers have been great and reassure me that once I am gone he is fine but it still pulls at the heart strings even if he is "faking" it to a degree.

But anyway, I have gotten so far off topic its ridiculous lol,,,,,,this is what I mean about my mind, its everywhere at the moment. Life right now has got me thinking about the "purpose" of our blogs. I have a passion for reading everyone's blogs but I feel that my own just doesn't measure up. Reading other people's blogs I find to be "educating" and I feel that everyone else has lots of pictures and shares their lives and in turn enriches others lives by sharing information that is really useful. On the other hand I have mine that is just an outlet for my stress it seems lol. I want my blog to become something interesting, something that I can actually refer to for recipes, ideas etc etc in years to come.

My biggest problem is time. I have lots of recipes that I could share but its just finding the time to actually be able to get them on here. I don't know,,,,what do people want to see in blogs that makes them interesting????????????????????

Monday, May 11, 2009

Our holiday in the Gold Coast Queensland and now back to reality...ho hum

Well here we are back to normality after spending 16 wonderful nights on the Gold Coast. Our days were so jam packed but the kids loved it and never complained that they were tired or sick of walking which really amazed me.

While there we went to all the Worlds twice, visited Currumbin Bird Sanctuary, the Tree Top Walk in the Lamington National Park, Tropical Fruit World and spent a day in Brisbane at the Museum and Science Centre. Such a fun time and one which the kids are all eager to do again.....they even got their chicken mum on the Tower of Terror, not once but twice!!!! lol I will post a few piccies once we get ourselves organised.

The weather was beautiful while we were there with very little rain, what there was was only a brief shower then it cleared up into blue skies again. Come back to Adelaide to grey overcast skies and very chilly mornings. Have had to drag out the jeans and jumpers yuck!

Today is their first day back at school and I have had a hard dose of reality thrown at me. The younger two have worked themselves up into a tizzy about school. Mr8 was sobbing his heart out upon getting into the car, calmed down by the time we got there but then as I was about to leave the school I hear this yelling and he is sprinting across the school grounds in a flood of tears because he doesn't want to go to school. The youngest, Mr7 made himself sick about 5 times so Hubby took him in because I just couldn't deal with it, I was at my wits end. I am back to having no idea which way to turn.........can't we just stay on permanent holiday???? lol