The Tween Years - Issues with Lying

It is school holidays and this is the first week.  This week I have my step kids here as well as my 4 boys and the "floaters" that seem to come and go.  We have had sleepovers and generally just bummed around the house.  Pretty boring but pretty standard when Mr Autism is in the house and hubby has to work.  Due to the way Mr Autism is for me I cannot take him out which means we are housebound.  During this week the kids play way too much Xbox and watch way too much TV interspersed with bike riding and some baking etc.  But it is only for 5 days out of the holidays so I am okay with that.

Yesterday was a bad day, I had one of those moments where I was totally unsure of what to do and I exploded because Miss12 pushed my buttons in a major way. I don't like liars and I particularly don't like my own children blatantly lying.  Its not something I generally have to deal with, my kids have never been a problem in that area.  Miss12 on the other hand has been having issues at her mum's house in the same kind of way.  I had been happy that we hadn't had to deal with it here so far,,,,,,,,until yesterday.  I won't go in to all the boring details but it ended with her crying,,,,,alot,, and sneaking down to call her mum on her mobile phone.  I ranted and raved, not knowing that she was on her mobile phone to her mum so her mum heard all of my rant.  Not only did I catch her out lying to me, but then I also caught her as I found out, telling her mum that she was scared and she wanted her mum to pick her up because she was scared that I was going to tell her dad about what she did and he would hit her!!!  That is what pushed my buttons majorly.  How dare she accuse my Hubby of that!!!  Once she got off the phone, after I had spoken to her mum (speaking to her mum isn't something that I generally do! so that was interesting lol) I really let her have it and asked her if she knew what lies of that type could do.  She sat there crying and it broke my heart to see it but at the same time I was so incredibly angry at her.   I had told her mum that there was no hitting going on in the house and she said "don't worry I know I have been having issues with her lies too".

At the end of the day I told her dad the whole story and her mum called last night to talk to her to check she was okay and to talk to hubby.  She said she had told her that the lines of communication were now open and she would not be getting away with things like this any more.  Apparently at her mum's house she has been using the "I don't have to live here, I'm going to Dad's".  Now, we have never had a phone call (her mum would never allow that to happen,,,,but that is a whole other story lol) but I told hubby that he needs to say to her mum that that is precisely what should happen.  She wouldn't want to live here full time, she gets away with a lot more at her mum's.  Here, apparently, she has to do too much (her chores are to pick up her dirty clothes and to keep her part of the room tidy!).

After it starting out as such a small incident, it certainly blew up into massive proportions yesterday.  I was shocked at how easily she was could put it on and accuse Hubby of, well basically, abuse.  I find this incredibly disturbing and it makes me wonder how far this girl will go.  It is one thing saying things like this to another parent, but what if she says it to her friend's parents or a teacher at school.  These kids just don't realise how serious these lies can be.  It truly scares me.  I feel like I am watching a train wreck with this girl at the moment and as she is her mum's golden child her mum won't put her foot firmly down with her.  She needs discipline that she isn't getting from her mum.  At mum's house there aren't actually consequences for her behaviour.  Yesterday she lost her bike for the day and the promised trip to the shop for an icecream didn't happen, she didn't like that at all.  As hubby said yesterday, he thinks she is out of control at mum's house and mum is doing nothing about it.  All we can do at the moment is to sit back and see just how "open" these lines of communication are and keep close tabs on her while she is with us.

KIDS!!  I have never had a problem like this and was hoping to never have one but I guess with 6 kids it had to happen eventually right?